2 Years Later

Okay, so almost one month from my last post on pregnancy I had our sweet baby boy!!

Meet Ezra K.

He's amazing, and perfect, and, beautiful.  We are head over heals in love and enjoying being parents to three boys.  I'm working on blogging about his birth story, but it's a lot to condense into a readable blog post.  It was a 34 hour ordeal, so it's going to take a hot second...

But today is about something else.  Today is Kingston and Kyrie's Gotcha Day!!  (Okay- today is NOT their gotcha day.  But the day I wrote this, it was.  And then I forgot to post it.  But give me a break :)  I have three under three now!  So... for those of you marking your calendars.. Gotcha Day was on Thursday the 5th.  A week ago....  now continuing on with the post...)

Two years ago, I walked through the gates of Hannah's Hope and took my baby boys home.  David and I had our boys in our arms finally, and fell head first into parenthood.  It was insane and wild and awesome.  The crazy thing is that now that Ezra is home and we're up all night feeding and changing a newborn, we're quickly thrown back into our first memories of Kingston and Kyrie.  Although they came home at 7 months, they acted very much like newborns.  They were up every 2 hours to eat and because there were 2 of them we got very little sleep.

It was such a big adjustment for us because we had been living the easy breezy life where we only had to take care of ourselves.  We grew up.

Fast.

And we learned about a love that we never knew existed.

Now Kingston and Kyrie are two and a half, and they are big brothers.  They talk SO much and they are the funniest kids I know.  I'm confident they got that from me.  They take such good care of their little brother and they are literary geniuses.  They know all their letters and sounds and talk about letters all the live long day.  When Kyrie wakes up, I hear him on the monitor saying, "T goes tuh, tuh, tuh.  B goes buh, buh, buh, M goes Mmmmmmmmmm".  Its adorable.  They sing their ABCs together and fight over the letters in their ABC puzzle, their ABC duplos, and their ABC animal game.  And although David and I are both educators, we didn't teach them.  They just love letters and learned themselves with their Leapfrog computer I think.  Kyrie probably started the trend because he has self proclaimed the leapfrog "his" computer.  And once one sweet boy is into something, they both pretty much are.

This morning we went to the store and got donuts to celebrate Gotcha day.  Kingston and Kyrie still don't really understand the day, but they sure do love donuts.  Ezra stayed home with his grandpa while I had some quality time with my big boys.

This evening we will continue the celebration when Daddy gets home from work.

Here are some recent photos of my amazing boys, 2 years home.  2 years a blessing to me and Dave.  2 years sillier, taller, faster, naughtier, and 2 years more amazing than ever.

Sciatica

Last week Sunday I entered the wonderful world of sciatica.

The sciatic nerve.  If you never know what it is, you are very, very lucky.  Its a lovely little sucker that runs from somewhere in your back-ish area down each of your bum cheeks and legs.  That's the medical description anyway.

For me, it is a source of pure discomfort.  On Sunday my left leg/butt cheek started hurting and it hasn't stopped since.  Whatever little man is doing - somersaults, double axels, back kicks, karate chops.... its constricting that nerve somehow.  Every step I take is uncomfortable.  Some days are better than others.  So far work has been alright.  I just limp a little bit - which causes people to tell me I have my pregnancy swagger on.

OR - they tell me I have my pregnancy waddle going.  But I hear them say swagger anyway.

My darling husband found me some good stretches on youtube, so I've been rocking those.  They're a little tricky with the big ball of baby I'm carrying in my front, but they definitely help.  It's making sleep less awesome because it pretty much hurts every time I move or roll over.  But I think that's just preparing me for when baby comes anyway.

And who cares about any of that, when I get to come home from work and have a little boy lift up my shirt and kiss my belly.  Out of the blue.  And then he says, "Doctor get baby brother out."

Um.  Sweetest genius boy ever!

This sciatic nerve thing is annoying.  And I'm super eager to meet my youngest little man.  But I also love being pregnant and getting to take him everywhere I go.  I love feeling his every move.  And I love my baby bump.  Pregnancy is awesome.  And this may be my only chance to experience it, so I want to enjoy every minute!

Time Outs

(Here is another little gem I found gathering dust in my drafts.  Posting because I want to remember these great moments!!)

We have entered the wild world of time outs.

It's something we've been putting off for ever and ever, but now we're at a point where we have naughty little boys and we don't know what to do with them!

Honestly, they are really good boys.  But there are a couple things that require consequences.  One is jumping on the couch.  In general, the idea of jumping on the couch is just good fun.  But when you have twin two year old boys, it gets wild and dangerous and they just don't quit.  No matter how mean my mommy voice is, or how I redirect, there is jumping and injuring inducing wildness.  And then there is the hitting.  Which is mostly just ONE of the boys, whose name may or may not be associate with royalty.  He tends to hit over and over and over and over again.  Not hard, but he knows how to make his point with the repetition when he is not happy.

We have a handy little spot we picked out in the living room on the floor.  Little man has to sit there (right now for only about 30 seconds).  Its been a chore to get the boys to realize time out means they have to sit there until I come over and get them.  But we're getting there.

One of the biggest challenges is the other brother.  For instance, Kyrie likes to bring Kingston his toys when he's in time out.  Um.  Not helping the situation Ky.  Kingston likes to taunt his brother by climbing and snuggling with mommy when Kyrie is in time out, which only escalates Kyrie's unhappiness.  Another challenge is getting them to stay there.  Kyrie will say, "aw done, aw done" over and over.  Kingston will do the stretch out thing where he tries to slowly and discretely sneak away.  Except that he's crying and yelling at me while he does it so its less than discrete.

And one of the funniest things is if they are being silly and wild and jumping on the couch, I'll ask them to stop.  When they don't, I'll ask if they need a time out, and they'll say yes with a smile.  Needless to say, the smile is gone in 2 seconds when they are planted in time out.

And the best is sometimes they will just go sit in that spot and say, "Tah Ow."  They definitely know what a time out is.  Hopefully soon they'll realize they don't ever have to go there if they just listen to every single thing mommy ever says :)

The Things We Say

(Sometimes I write things and don't post them.  I think because I want to reread them and make sure they're not dumb. But then sometimes I forget about them.  I found this post sitting quietly in my drafts and I want to post it because these are things I want to remember my boys saying.  They're blowing my mind with how their language has taken off lately, and I need to keep sharing this stuff!!  I have the WORST memory of anyone I know, so if I don't blog it, it may be lost forever.  So here is this....)

We talk a lot these days.  Some of us more than others.  And some of us say the most ridiculous things.

I'd like to share them with you.

Here are just a few things I hear on the regular.

"Kingston be nauny (naughty)"  Because my Kyrie is a tattletale.

"No No Brother!" Kingston says with a finger pointed.  Any time he comes near his toys.

"No Thank You."  When I ask either child to take a nap, give a toy back, give me a hug, anything.  Always the polite, "no thank you."  Dave goes to pick someone up when they are playing.  "No thank you daddy."  And if he picks them up anyway, they keep saying it, but LOUD.  "NO THANK YOU DADDY!"


And every time we're in the car... and I mean EVERY TIME, like one million times over, my children say, "Car get owie!"  and then "Hold Mama hand.  Hold Daddy hand." Because every time I stop the car, before I get out I say, "You have to hold mama's hand.  Cars are dangerous. They can give you owies.  Are you going to hold mama's hand?"  And so, like the good little passengers they are, they like to remind me of this fact the entire car ride to wherever we might be going.  Which is endearing on the 2 minute drives to the gas station, but not so much on the 30 minute drives.  Less endearing the 167th time.

And one of my personal favorites:

"Carmen tooted."

Carmen is the dog next door.  Who they occasionally see outside and have never touched.  But they are obsessed with her.  When there is a bike in the yard next door?  "Carmen bike."  She's not outside?  "Carmen sleepin"  Never mind the entire family that lives there and talks to them.  And somehow they (Kyrie) knows at the ripe age of 2 that toots are funny.  And even funnier when you blame them on the neighbor dog, apparently.

Ahhh... pregnancy.

I'm so disappointed with myself and my terrible blogging during this pregnancy.  I want to remember everything about it, and I keep forgetting to write about it!!  Yikes!!

I think I've had a really easy pregnancy so far.  I really haven't had any terrible side effects yet.  Just minor little normal pregnancy things.  My back is killing me, but that's normal as your center of balance and posture changes.  I ice it at night, and that seems to help.  Also, my legs are super duper sore at the end of the work day, and I have some really awesome veins happening.  But I also have some totally sexy compression stockings that help with that.  And somehow my ankles are still normal sized.  Pretty sure that will change soon.

Many people have commented that I am small for a pregnant lady of 8 months.  But they've said that all along, and my doctor has said I've measured right on at each visit.  He says my baby boy is just sitting low.  Which I can feel.  I pretty much ALWAYS feel like I have to go to the bathroom.  Like hour 6 of a road trip after 3 big gulps.  So I race to the bathroom one hundred times a day and I tinkle out the amount of pee a bumble bee can store.

So that's cool, right?

And maybe I look small, but wowzers.  My stomach feels huge to me.  It actually hurts.  Its like its stretching.  Well, not like its stretching.  It actually IS stretching.  Imagine that.   The top part of my tummy is super sensitive.  It gets numb all day long.  Its because as my skin is stretching, so are my nerve endings which is causing me discomfort.  I learned it on the online internets.  So it's science.

These things are little nuisances.  I feel very, very lucky.  I've never been sick really.  No swelling yet (though I'm prepared for it to happen any day...), no belly button popping out (just flattened), my feet don't hurt, and I'm generally pleasant.

Well, that last one depends on who you ask.  Maybe I'm not :)

I love being preggers though.  This baby boy moves like a ninja.  He does not mess around.  And that is amazing.  Its so cool to experience.  I love being able to take my boy with me everywhere I go.  And I've been sleeping pretty good too.  When I wake up to bumble bee pee I feel little man moving as I drift back to sleep.  It reminds me to pray for him and I'm right back to sleep.

The Hard Parts

Being a mom is awesome.  There are snuggles, and "I wuv oohs" and kisses and all things that will melt your heart and turn you into a puddle in an instant.  And these two little boys have that power over me like nobody ever has.

I hope he'll always snuggle me like this. 

Driving his truck on mommy's baby bump. 

A normal funny face. 

Wild hair.  Sweet boy.  

More faces. 

Kisses for Daddy.  Over my lap.  Swoon.  

Fun at the Park

But sometimes there are some really hard parts.

Yesterday was a day where I just wanted to grab my boys and climb in their crib with them and hold them forever and ever.

Because I was making them both cry and I couldn't do anything about it and it was
The. Worst. Feeling. Ever.

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Kingston has molluscum.  Its a nasty little skin virus that we are battling on his precious little tummy. It's not a huge deal, and it honestly doesn't seem to bother him at all, which is great.  But it has to go. And right now its kind of gross.  I'll spare you the details, but he needs to keep a bandaid on it right now because it bleeds a bit, and it's ruining some clothes if he doesn't wear a bandaid.  And we can't go shirtless because molluscum is contagious so it needs to be covered so it doesn't spread to other parts of his body or to his brother.

But....  the child HATES bandaids.

I put one on my tummy.  "See how fun?!"

I let him go without a bandaid.  That t-shirt ended up in the trash.

So I had to physically pin him down with my legs over his legs and David holding his hands and stick a bandaid on him.  He screamed and cried through it, though I know it didn't hurt him at all.  "NO MAMA! NO BANDAID! NO MAMA!!"  And I felt like I was torturing him.  He cried and cried and I just felt like a meanie.

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Kyrie has a diaper rash from you know where.  My poor little Kyrie struggles with his adorable little booty in so many ways.  For so long he would struggle to poop and once every three days or so he'd cry through it and it was AWFUL.  So now we've switched him to Almond milk since the 5 gallons of dairy he was consuming daily was most likely the culprit of his pain.  But now he sort of has to re-learn how to poop.  He is still trying to work out his bowels over three days which means he has mini poops throughout each and every day.  Which means he gets diaper changes a billion times a day and gets his bottom wiped a billion times a day.

Enter horrendous diaper rash.

So now, not only do I have to change him a million times a day, but he screams and cries through it every time.  This also included pinning down of limbs and choice words from my child.  I basically feel like he's swearing at me in his own two year old way.   "NO MOMMY!  MAMA NAUGHTY! MAMA BE BAD!  STOP IT MAMA!  QUIT IT!!!  ALL DONE!  DIAPER ON!!  STOP IT!! And today he cried and cried for his daddy (who was at work) while I changed him.  Which of course broke my heart.  I wanted to tell him Daddy would be doing this too if he was home!  He can't save you!!

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So back to back I upset my children and made them cry and I had no choice but to do so.

And afterwards I held them and apologized  and kissed their faces and tried to explain why I had to do it.  But they're 2.  So really, how much can you explain?  I just felt so mean.  So, so mean.  And it hurt my heart.

I know this is just one small example of the ways I will break my children's hearts and break my own in the process.  And for something that I felt was in their best interest.

The redeeming part is how forgiving my babies are.  They still snuggled me goodnight and called for me when they woke up.  And today when I changed Kyrie 14 thousand more times, he still pulled my hand and said, "pay me mama" ("Play with me, mama").

Parenting has some really hard parts.  And I know its only the tip of the iceberg.  But still so worth it, friends.  So, so worth it.

Dear Dad,

Dear Dad,

It's been eight years.  Eight years since I've heard your laugh.  Seen your strut down the dock.  Listened to your crazy stories.  Or felt your hugs.

So much has changed since then.  You've gained a son in law you've never met,  and daughter in law you already knew and loved.  And you're a grandpa now.  You're the Grandpa Sluiter.  The Papa Steve.  It's a coveted title.    Makes me hurt just thinking about how you never got to meet and hold your grand-babies.  You have five of them.  And an amazing two more miracles on the way.  It's incredible how our family has changed in so many fantastic ways.  And incredible how hard it is to not have you share it with all of us.

My Kyrie has many of your characteristics.  He loves to be silly and make people laugh.  He is such a sweet, goofy little guy.  He pulls the funniest faces like you did.  He jokes all the time.  And he has tight curls just like you did.  And my Kingston is like you too, but in different ways.  He is a teaser.  He lives to tease his brother.  Drives him crazy all the time. Just for fun.  You did that too.  Loved to tease.  And he tinkers like you.  He can sit and just play by himself and try to figure out how things work.  He takes things apart and puts them back together.  You would love them so much, dad.  You would just love every inch of who they are, like I do.  You would love to chase them and tickle them. You would love to hear their belly laughs.  I can picture it.

I just wish so much that I had the memories to go along with those mental pictures.  I wish so much that they knew you.  And knew what it was like to be loved by you.

And I'm having another boy.  He is due in November.  Another Sluiter boy is just what this world needs, right?  If you could put your hand on my stomach, you could feel him kick.  He's such a mover. It's amazing.  I talked to Gram about the day you were born.  She said it was wonderful because you were her first baby that she got to leave the hospital with on time.  Your siblings were all premies and had to stay.  If you were here I'd ask you to give Dave a pep talk about delivery.  I tease him all the time that he might pass out.  Mostly because deep down inside I think he might.  And I'm pretty sure you would tease him about that during your pep talk.  But he could take it.

I still have the urge to call you and tell you things.  Like when we got our referral for the boys.  Or when we found out I was pregnant.  Or that we were having another boy.  I always feel like there is somebody I am forgetting to tell.  I miss you all the time.  I hurt knowing that my stories and memories are all my boys will have of you.  But I promise to keep telling them.

I love you dad.  I miss you as much today as the day I had to say goodbye to you eight years ago.  I still catch glimpses of you here and there.  I get a feeling or a memory.  Or sometimes a dream where we are together.  And it fills me up.  It gives me a peace in knowing how lucky I was to have you as my dad.  And how lucky my boys are to have you as their grandpa.  Even if it's just in pictures, and stories, and memories.

I love you more,

Pregnancy

Pregnancy is something else.  It really is.  I'm 6 months preggers right now and I feel like I've experienced so much already.

I've had a very easy pregnancy so far.  Aside from the usual first trimester exhaustion and mild nausea, it's been smooth sailing.  This second trimester has me feeling fabulous.  My biggest complaint is that I can't hang in the sun like I used to be able to.  I get hot much faster.  Which is difficult with two little sun boys to chase, but its not a major hinderance.  Mainly because they love to swim.

And I'm feeling little man move around every single day.  It's the most incredible feeling and I cannot possibly explain it.  It never gets old to me.  I could just sit and enjoy it every time I feel him.  And David even got to feel it for the first time the other day.  When I went to my doctor the other day he commented that the baby was probably driving me crazy and causing me discomfort with all his moving.  But I haven't had any discomfort and his comment only made me excited to be able to feel even more movement.  I love every second of it!

But experiencing this makes me often think of Kingston and Kyrie's birth mom.  I wonder so many things about her pregnancy.  Did she know she was having twins?  I wonder when she realized it.  Did she have an inkling?  Is that something you know?  Can you tell two little buddies are moving around instead of one?  Did she find out during delivery?  I just wonder so many things and wish I could sit down with her and talk about it.  And tell her what wonderful little men they are growing into.

And so much more.

David and I recently hired a searcher for our boys' birth family.  He is known through many families in our agency and came highly recommended.  Our boys are from an area in Ethiopia that is relatively difficult to get to.  We hired the searcher with three other families who have children born in the same region so we could split the flight cost for the searcher.  He had to travel outside of the city of Gambella to find our boys' birth family, but he did find them!  We were able to see pictures to verify it was truly them, and we even saw pictures of their birth family viewing the pictures that we sent of the boys now. Our searcher also had some discussions with the birth family and I was able to get some questions answered that I was wondering about their birth and what they were like as newborns.  I now have pictures of their birth village and where their birth family lives and farms.

Incredible.  I can't wait to share these with the boys when they are older.  I wish there was some way to stay in contact with the birth family on a regular basis, but for now, knowing their birth story is enough.  Now when they experience their baby brother's birth (No, they will not actually be there to experience it) they will also be able to hear the story of their own birth in Ethiopia.

Three boys with beautiful stories.  And I'm the lucky lady who gets to be their mommy and tell them all about it.

 

Poop Train

Kyrie repeats everything he hears.  Sometimes is just part of the sentence and sometimes its the whole phrase.

Well this weekend we were camping and I was talking about potty training in a way that only a lady can do.  Kingston had just come up to me and said, "diaper change" and laid down on his back.  He has NEVER done that before, so it was a big deal.  He had pooped and wanted a clean diaper.

So after that I was talking to my mom about how I think Kingston will "poop train" before Kyrie because he is aware of when he has to poop and will sometimes tell me when he did.

And of couse I used the phrase "poop train" because how else would you say it?

The next thing I know, Kyrie says, "Poop Train" because honestly, why not?  He loves trains and a poop train sounds pretty cool, right?  And then of COURSE everyone laughs because a poop train is funny.

So he keeps saying it.  And when he forgets about it, Grandpa Ray reminds him to say it again.  Thanks Grandpa Ray.

Now we are home sweet home, and what does Kyrie say when he wakes up this morning?

"Poop Train."

Oh Boy!!

WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BOY!!!!

We found out at our 20 week appointment and it was so exciting!  Our doctor got called to deliver a baby, so our ultrasound tech had to "stall" a little bit with us.  Which was good luck for us because we got some extra screen time with our little man.  I happen to think he looks like David already.  One of my friends said she can see me in his face.  So hopefully he's a good mix of both of our qualities :)  But only our good ones, of course.

Kingston and Kyrie are going to be the most amazing big brothers.  They'll show their little brother all the ways to be naughty and awesome.

I hope that he has his daddy's work ethic.  His drive and his achievement.  I hope that he has his money sense, as well as his fashion sense. And his smile.  I hope he has his daddy's smile.

I hope he has Kingston's beautiful eyes.  His flirty ways.  His love for figuring out the ways things work.  His inquisitive nature.  His stubbornness.  And his smile.  I hope he has Kingston's smile.

I hope he has Kyrie's sense of humor.  His silly nature and his ability to make anyone laugh.  The way he teases and jokes and knows he is funny.  His love of snuggles and the fact that he is a mama's boy.  I hope baby brother has that too.  And of course I hope he has Kyrie's smile.

And me?  What do I hope he gets from me?

Anything but the red hair :)

Mini Fits

My little man knows what he wants.  And he's been experimenting with how to get it.  From my mommy perspective, it's been hilarious.  He throws these mini fits, and then gets over it.  But first, he has to throw the fit, just to see if he gets what he wants.

Do you mind?  Me and my friends are chillin'

The other day I took the boys to the beach.  We have a mini beach by our house, and the boys love to play in the sand.  It was too cold to go in the water though.  So while playing, Kingston pointed to the water and asked to go in.



Actually, he grunted and went, 'Mmm', 'Mmm'!  Which, as his mother, I know means, "Mother dear, can we go for a swim?"

I said, "No, we're not going swimming today."  So he threw his bucket down and stomped his foot.

And then he stared me down.

So obviously I held his gaze.  I had to be strong here, and not giggle. And proudly, this is what I did.  And two seconds later he started playing again like the good little man he is.

This little face.  Melts me. 

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And then another day we went to a store.  It's a little boutique that has a cute little basket of toys for children and one of these toys is a bus.

A bus my child ADORES.  So he played with it for awhile and then it was time to go.

(And yes, I realize I have two children, so just for those of you worried about Kyrie, he was at the front of the store with Dave saying over and over, "buh bye store.  All Done.  Buh Bye."  He loves shopping.)

So I tell Kingston to say bye bye to the bus and its time to go.  He says, "NO!" and walks away from me.  But only like 4 big steps.  He says, "Bus."  I say, "No, its time to go." So he walks away again and then looks back at me.

Then my silly little man stomped his foot and laid on the floor of the store.  Just laid on his back.  And stared at me. And I waited and waited for some tantrum or screams, but they didn't come.  He just laid there. And stared.

Then about 30 seconds later (as I stood and just watched him) he stood up, took my hand, and walked out the door with me.

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Is there honestly a better job than raising toddlers?  I just love watching them grow and learn and figure out how to get what they want.  And I love watching my boys' personalities develop.

He was so proud of this accomplishment!
He did not love when I made him get down.

I see my own stubbornness in my little Kingston.  And I hope he doesn't lose that strong heart.  He brings me so much joy, even in his defiance.  Stay strong my sweet little man.  Push the boundaries, but respect them.  Learn and grow, and love life my darling.

EPIC Summer

Summer time.

It's such a huge blessing when you are a teacher.  I get to do the job that I love, and I get the summer months off to spend with my family.  And this summer is going to be EPIC.

This summer is a big girl summer.  The only thing I want to do in the world is play with my kids.  And that is probably sort of lame to the high school and college summer girl of my past.  But it's really all I want.

Last summer was a big girl summer too, but it was not at all relaxing.  The boys were one, and walking all over.  Oh, and they didn't listen to me EVER.  Which was so awesome I can't even describe it.

Or maybe I can.

I spent my summers chasing them around the yard, trying to keep them in my sight.  Spotting them as they acted like daredevils and climbed up the slide and caught them as they tumbled off.  Put a baby gate up on the deck so they wouldn't climb up and tumble down the steps.  I never stopped moving last summer.  And don't get me wrong, it was fun.  Just a ton of work.  Those two gang up on a mama :)

This summer is only 2 weeks deep and it's so awesome.  I've done things I've never been able to do alone with my boys.

This time last year I would never NEVER go to a store with both boys on my own.  But I did this year, and it was huge.  Kyrie wanted to be held the whole time and would not sit in a cart, but this is a huge improvement from the screaming and running away he used to do.  Kingston walked through the store at turtle speed, but he held my hand the whole time and even held the marshmallow fluff for me.

And we went to the beach.  Yes, that's right.  With JUST ME.  The boys played in the sand for over an hour.  They pointed to the water, and when I said, "no, we're not swimming today" they stayed away!  No fits!  Then we had to leave to eat lunch and there was only a minor amount of grumbling and no crying.  And a very mature "bye bye beach" from Kyrie.

When we play in the backyard I can actually sit and read a magazine!  They still struggle with going down stairs, but if I tell them no, they stay away.

This is how we do. 

Hey baby.  You like my wheels?

They are SUCH GOOD BOYS!!

This summer is going to be AWESOME!

Baby Love

I just felt the baby move!

For the first time ever, right here on the couch while I was writing a post yesterday, I felt it.

It's actually been bothering me because I haven't felt anything yet.  I am at 19 weeks, and what I've read is that many woman feel the baby move between 18 and 22 weeks.  Takes longer when its your first one, but still.  Obviously at 18 weeks I was expecting to feel something.  Flutters, bubbles, anything.

My first attempt at a belly shot.  I'm not very good at these photos.
These pics are so cute on other moms.  Awkward on me.  

Second attempt.  Worse I think.

But I hadn't felt anything, and it was messing with my mind a little.  Because I'm pretty sure that is what mom's do.  Worry about everything.

So (get ready for some TMI) I'm sitting here thinking about how I have to go to the bathroom when I feel a flutter against my bladder.  (Hey - I warned you...  but all I said was "bladder" and that is not so bad. I hear with pregnancy it gets much worse than bladder.)

Like just a teeny tiny little flutter.  And I've felt it like 3 times since typing this us.  And I don't want to go to the bathroom because I'm afraid if I empty my bladder I won't be able to feel it anymore!!

Its amazing.  So amazing!  I've heard the heartbeat, I've seen a little blip on the screen (WEEKS ago) and I've watched my tummy grow to the point where I can't really close all my pants.  Some... just not all.

But now, feeling that little life inside me is incredible.  Like nothing before.  There is a little growing PERSON in there.  It has put a giddy little smile on my face and brought tears to my eyes.

Motherhood continues to amaze me. And tomorrow is yet another big day.  We find out if Kingston and Kyrie are getting a baby sister or a baby brother!  And we get to see the little one on screen again.  Our last ultrasound was at 6 weeks, so its been awhile.

I'd love to have another boy.  I LOVE being a mom to boys.  I have felt so blessed by my two perfect sons already.

And I'd love to have a girl.  Having a daughter would be so much fun.  Kingston and Kyrie would do great with a sister.

I'll be filled with joy tomorrow and I can't wait to find out.

It's also our anniversary.  Four wonderful years :) So David and I are going to spend the morning together going to the doctor, seeing our baby, eating breakfast, shopping maybe, who knows.  And I can't wait :)

This is one of the happiest times of my life.  And I'm feeling so very blessed.

Picture Day

Yesterday was one of those days where David and I looked at each other at the end of the day, gave each other a kiss, and PASSED. OUT.

We had family pictures, and it was then that we realized how busy and wild our boys truly are.  We thought we could get some nice pictures with the four of us together, but I'm confident that did not happen.  And to no fault of our AMAZING photog.  Missy at ML Photography is amazing.  She did everything she could do to get our boys to sit by us, walk with us, be in the somewhat near vicinity of each other or us, and it just wasn't happening.

When she tried to get Kyrie to walk on the railroad tracks with me, he either wanted to stop and pick up rocks, or hold MISSY'S hand.  Nice Kyrie.  "Mih-ee!"  Um, hey dude.  I'm your mommy.  You're supposed to do cute things with me.  Goof.    And meanwhile, Kingston was 239 miles ahead of us on the tracks with daddy.

Kingston, want to sit in the tree by mommy?  "NO."  Want to sit on the blanket? "NO".  Kyrie, come sit on mommy's lap.   "AW Dun."

When we decided to mean business with them and just picked them up to get all four of us together, there was screaming and crying and gnashing of teeth.  Or kicking of feet.  Or flailing of limbs.  Whatever it was, it was loud and wild.

So at the end of this photo shoot, after chasing little ones, wiping noses with my maxi dress (yes, I'm that classy) and attempting every type of bribery from bubbles to stickers, we got in the car and went home.  David was convinced we have the naughtiest boys in the history of the world.  I decided they were not naughty at all, they just know what they want.  And what they don't want.  And they DON'T want to listen to me or David.  They just wanted to play.  We were at a park, after all.  That's legit, right?  Strong willed playful children grow up to be doctors, CEOs, teachers, or other wonderful things.  Right?  RIGHT?!

Whatever had just happened, we were sure that we wasted Missy's time.

And then we got home and the second before we fell asleep, we found these little gems on Facebook...

Oh hello!  How can you not love me? 

Naughty?  Oh, no, no, no!  I'm adorable!!!!

Missy is amazing.  I love my little boys, and I love how she captured their free and wild spirits in these photos.  And I'm not super concerned with full family pictures, because we are practically a family of five anyway and come November we'll need to update the family pics with our latest bundle of Stefanich.

What matters to me is capturing my amazing little boys exactly as they are now.  Wild, and busy, and smiley and wonderful.  I want to remember how much happiness they bring me at the age of two.  The giggles.  The open mouth faces of joy.  The awsome that they are.  God's beautiful creations in little boy form.  And that is what Missy did.  You are wonderful, Missy.  Thank you for capturing my boys in their absolute perfection!

A Perfect Day

Today we had the most amazing family day.

Days like these make me wish we didn't have to work to pay the bills and we could run around all day long as our beautiful happy family.  David took a personal day today to spend with us, and it was such a perfect day.

We started out by going to breakfast at our favorite little cafe.  David and I went there about once a week before we had children, so its like our little place.  It also has bagels and muffins so it quickly became a favorite for Kingston and Kyrie as well.

Then we went to the library.  There was a "Little Wiggles" class.  Or it was called something like that.  And anything with wiggle in the name was sure to be a good fit for my little men.  It was a story time for little ones like K and K.  Our little North side branch of the library is nice and small and perfectly non overwhelming for me, my darling husband, and twin honeys.

There were board books in the middle of a circle that the kids had free reign to during the story and song time, there were carpet squares that I may or may not have been the only member of my family to sit on, and there were songs and stories lead by Miss Mary.

She was lovely, you guys.  Just lovely.

My kids have never been to anything like this before because we only recently started leaving the house with them at the same time.

You think I'm joking, but it can be a terrifying thing - two boys that each run different ways and don't listen to a word you say.  But they've grown considerably and actually follow mommy and daddy directions so we thought they might be ready.

I was a little worried about how they might behave.  But the other kids there quickly calmed my nerves.  One little boy pretty much ran up and down the book aisles the whole time.  Another little girl appeared to not even have a mommy there, and walked up to me at one point, took a chewed up sticker out of her mouth, and said, "yucky."  So when Kingston made a sidewalk with books and walked on them, I didn't think it was such a big deal.  I just went with it.

Kyrie did not love it.  He sat on my lap the whole time.  With each new song Miss Mary started singing, Kyrie would say, "NO!"  If I sang along, he would say, "NO!" even louder.  So I sat and rocked my little man.  And he said, "EIEIO" because that is the only song he was interested in hearing. Sad for Kyrie, that song was not on the docket.  

Kingston on the other hand LOVED it.  He looked at books, and shared books with other kids, did the motions to all the songs, laughed, jumped, and had a ball.  It was so awesome.

We'll be trying it next week without daddy with the hope that Kyrie warms up to it a bit more and Kingston can party on with his friends.  And maybe, just maybe, EIEIO will be sung for my sweet Ky.

And the rest of the day was just as beautiful.  We went to the beach, swam, threw sand, went for a walk downtown after dinner and had some froyo.

It was a perfect day.  And I hope it's just one of many we have this summer.

BIG, late News

Oh my word I think I quit blogging.

I didn't even mean to, but it just happened.  In the quest to be the best working mommy I can be, I had to let a few balls drop.  Because the important ones - Kingston, Kyrie, and David - are just to precious.

My job has been busy lately.  And when I come home from work I am just mommy.  Or I try to be.  I try to play with my boys until its time for them to go to bed.  And once they're in bed I do schoolwork, or just relax, or catch up with the hubs or friends.

So there is just very little time to write!  And it makes me sad because I love to write.

But now I am on summer break, and I'm hoping to be able to write on a more regular basis.  Plus there are a lot of big things happening in my little world, and I want them in writing forever and ever.

So in case you are just my online blog friend, and not my "in real life" friend or facebook friend... here is some BIG, late news...

We're having a baby!  Kingston and Kyrie are going to be big brothers and we're so excited!

I'm just about 18 weeks pregnant.  This picture was taken at about 12 weeks.  But those sweet brothers will just come up to me, lift up my shirt, and kiss my tummy out of the blue.

Its. The. Cutest.

I don't really think they "get" that there is a baby in there, but if we ask "where is the baby?" they'll point to my belly.  So that's good enough for me because its so stinkin' cute.

I've been really lucky with my pregnancy because in the first trimester I wasn't really ever sick. Just a little nauseous if I didn't eat every hour or so.  And since I love eating, this was a non-issue.

And now I'm feeling great.  My only real annoying thing is my skin is revolting against me.  I'm breaking out in ways I never experienced even during hormone raging puberty.  And I've had some allergic reactions on my skin that were weird, but short lived.  My doctor tells me this, along with my red hair and fair skin, is a clue that I may also experience some awesome heat rash.  Which will be a real joy as I play outside with my boys all summer.  But I'm not afraid of big rimmed hats and SPF 500, so bring it, sun.

I have so much more to say on this topic, but my two darlings are only going to be asleep for 40 more minutes or so and there is much to be done around this house.

Happy Mother's Day!

Little faces looking up for kisses.

Arms wrapped so tight around your neck.

Hands reaching to be held.

A head on your shoulders with a sigh in your ear.

Drool spot on your shirt where a face snuggled in.

Hearing "Laah Ooh" and knowing it means "Love you"

Knowing you've never had, and never will have, a more important job.  And loving all the amazing that comes with it.



I love being a mom.

I am a lucky lady

I have a lot to catch up on.

A.  LOT.

Like for example, yesterday my boys turned 2!!!  Oh my.  I have two year olds!!

And also, there was a party.  I need to share about that as well.

But I've been a crazy busy lady these days, and blogging just hasn't been happening.  But I'm writing this right now to hold myself accountable to actually write about these things in the next few days.

And I'm also writing this to give a little shout out to my amazing husband who also happens to be an amazing dad.

I came home from work today feeling a  little under the weather.  I have this weirdness Spring cold thing going on and I pretty much just wanted to lay on the couch like a wet blanket.

But did I mention I have TWO YEAR OLDS?! (I am still slightly in denial about their age.)  They wanted to play and read books and build things and drive cars on my head.  So I did that from my position on the couch, made the boys dinner, and greeted my husband at the door after work with the promise of left overs he would have to heat up himself.

I was a perfect housewife.  I know.


Then as he sat down to his microwaved leftover dinner - no complaints at all by the way - I hit him with this.

"Babe.  The boys really need a bath.  Any chance you could do that today or tomorrow?"  (You see how I tried to throw in some choice there?  So he might feel like it was his decision?)

He has dinner plans to celebrate his friend's promotion tomorrow night.  Which I forgot.

So he says, "Yeah, I could do that tonight."

Because he is awesome.

And then as I sat (ahem... yes, back on the couch) I listened to him play with my boys in the tub.  I listened to him sing silly songs about washing little boy toes.  I heard him coax Kyrie into the water that he was convinced was scalding hot, but was really hardly even lukewarm.

It was a beautiful thing.

Because he is such a great daddy.  And a wonderful husband.  And I'm a lucky lady.

Hug it Out

Tonight I brought the boys to an event at David's school.  It was a fundraiser and a curriculum event where the kids got to show off some of the great things they are learning.  Any time there is an event like this at David's school we go.  1 - because we love the school, 2- because we support our husband and daddy, and 3 - because those nights David cannot usually get home before bedtime and they boys need to see their dad.

So tonight we went to one of these events.  The boys are totally used to the crowds of families and children and basically Kingston and Kyrie think they run the school while they are there.  And they sort of do.  They run down the halls, and laugh, and get excited over the flag and the things hanging from the ceiling. Many of the families know us because David is the Principal at the school.  It's his job to know the families there, and so often times when they are chatting with him at an event, he's holding a small toddler who is (most likely) being wild and adorable at the same time.  Plus, about a million parents from his school brought us meals when we first got home with the boys, and are probably part of the reason I didn't waste away to nothing during those first months.  Lord knows there was no time in my life to cook.  And if there was time for cooking, I slept instead.

So back to the point of this post.....

Tonight I was with Kingston in the library because there are some stuffed animals in there, and he loves stuffed animals.  We decided to (I decided and tricked him to also want to) find Dave, Kyrie and their Papa.  We walked down the hall together and then spotted Kyrie.  The cool thing was they seemed to spot each other at the same time.  Across this long hallway spotted with people.  They both squealed with delight and started out in a dead sprint towards each other.  There was a moment where I thought heads could crash together and terror would ensue.  But it didn't.

They came together and hugged.  Honestly, they both just put their arms out and grabbed each other. Kyrie snuggled his head into Kingston.  And then Kingston kissed Kyrie!!

Seriously?!  Melted my heart on the spot.  The sweetest little independent act of love between two brothers.  I only wish I could have recorded it.

It was just what I needed today.  A reminder that these two are truly the most beautiful things in my life.  And they make even the most stressful situations just melt away.