Hug it Out

Tonight I brought the boys to an event at David's school.  It was a fundraiser and a curriculum event where the kids got to show off some of the great things they are learning.  Any time there is an event like this at David's school we go.  1 - because we love the school, 2- because we support our husband and daddy, and 3 - because those nights David cannot usually get home before bedtime and they boys need to see their dad.

So tonight we went to one of these events.  The boys are totally used to the crowds of families and children and basically Kingston and Kyrie think they run the school while they are there.  And they sort of do.  They run down the halls, and laugh, and get excited over the flag and the things hanging from the ceiling. Many of the families know us because David is the Principal at the school.  It's his job to know the families there, and so often times when they are chatting with him at an event, he's holding a small toddler who is (most likely) being wild and adorable at the same time.  Plus, about a million parents from his school brought us meals when we first got home with the boys, and are probably part of the reason I didn't waste away to nothing during those first months.  Lord knows there was no time in my life to cook.  And if there was time for cooking, I slept instead.

So back to the point of this post.....

Tonight I was with Kingston in the library because there are some stuffed animals in there, and he loves stuffed animals.  We decided to (I decided and tricked him to also want to) find Dave, Kyrie and their Papa.  We walked down the hall together and then spotted Kyrie.  The cool thing was they seemed to spot each other at the same time.  Across this long hallway spotted with people.  They both squealed with delight and started out in a dead sprint towards each other.  There was a moment where I thought heads could crash together and terror would ensue.  But it didn't.

They came together and hugged.  Honestly, they both just put their arms out and grabbed each other. Kyrie snuggled his head into Kingston.  And then Kingston kissed Kyrie!!

Seriously?!  Melted my heart on the spot.  The sweetest little independent act of love between two brothers.  I only wish I could have recorded it.

It was just what I needed today.  A reminder that these two are truly the most beautiful things in my life.  And they make even the most stressful situations just melt away.

Your Own Kids

Somebody said something to me the other day that really, really hurt me.

I was with a friend, and she asked me what I'm sure she thought was a really innocent question.

"So do you and Dave ever want to have your own kids?"

It's not the first time I've ever heard this.  And she is not the only one to have said it.  But unless you are an adoptive mother, you just have no idea how much this comment hurts.  Or what it implies.

It's like nails on a chalkboard.  It's a sinking feeling in my stomach.  And I cannot even begin to answer what I think she meant because I'm too busy deciding if I should embarrass her by correcting her.

I didn't correct her.  And I wish I would have.

She doesn't know that by saying "your own kids" she is implying that Kingston and Kyrie are not my own.  That I'm raising somebody else's kids.  And can you imagine if Kingston and Kyrie were in the room? Or just a little older and able to understand those implications?

I have heard the comment before about adoption.  "Oh, I could never raise somebody else's kids.  I just couldn't do it."  

Kingston and Kyrie are MY sons.  My own sons.  I may not have carried them, or birthed them.  But I prayed for them long before conception.  Before I even knew their birth country.  Before I knew that they would be boys.  Or twins.  Or brown.  And I prayed for them, and ached for them, and yearned to hold them in my arms just like their birth mom did.  I filled out more paperwork than you've ever seen.  Had more things notarized than I care to remember.  Overnighted documents, flew across the world, and experienced love at first sight.  Twice.  In a row.

I may not be their first mom.  And I'll never replace her.  I don't want to.  Or need to for them to be my own.  They're my own because I'm their mommy.  Their mama.  The one they run to when they get hurt.  The one they reach for when they need to snuggle.  They one they look up at, pucker up to, and smooch.  I'm the one who rubs vicks on their feet.  Deep conditions their hair.  Wipes their faces, and noses, and bottoms.  Combs and braids their sweet curls.  Sings lullabies at night.  I'm the one that tickles, and chases, plays legos and trains, and dances with them in the kitchen.

I'm their real mom and they are my own babies.


So there is your answer.

Single Momming it

This weekend I was a single mom.

Sort of.

David was in Memphis since Friday morning, and only returned home last night at midnight.  And even now, at 7:45pm he is at school for parent teacher conferences.

So I've missed him like crazy, been on my own with my two boys, and had to "Spring back" and lose an hour of precious sleep.  All by myself.

Oh - and it was my birthday.

Are you feeling sad for me yet?

Well don't.  I'm tired and whiny, but really, it was a great weekend.  (Sorry babe - as great as it can be without you there, that is.)

On Friday I just enjoyed a lovely evening with my boys, and caught up on some Millionaire Matchmaker on the DVR.

Then on Saturday, my friend took me out for a birthday pedicure while the boys napped.  AND she even got her husband to hang at my house with their kids while the boys slept.  What a sacrifice!!  Thank you Tami and Jens :)

In the evening my bestie brought her family and some delicious dinner over to my house.  The kids ran wild and had a blast, and I didn't have to cook!  After dinner, Alisha's kids went home with with their dad and she and I got to spend some much needed quality time talking about girly things and mom stuff. It was heavenly for this mama's mind and soul.

Then on Sunday, my actual birthday, I spent the whole day with the two sweetest gentlemen out there.  They took me window shopping, and had a lovely breakfast with me.  We watched a movie together.  Which consisted of them sitting with me for about 7 minutes, then getting down to play, then throwing a beautiful fit when I turned the movie off.  It was rather entertaining to hear Kyrie crying of the injustice over something he wasn't even watching.

Then, because Kyrie knew it was my birthday, he didn't want to leave me alone and decided to skip his nap altogether.  So thoughtful and horrific at the same time :)  And while the schedule is DONE when nap time is skipped, my sweet boy let me rock him for EVER.  Which was pure heaven for this birthday girl.   My boys are growing up so fast and they're always on the go.  I don't feel like I get to just rock them and whisper sweet lovies to them very often.  And he did the most amazing thing.  When I adjusted my arms around him, he grabbed my hand as quick as he could and pulled it tighter around him.  Like he didn't ever want me to let him go.

Melt my heart into a puddle.

Oh, and I "instagrammed" like cray cray.  So here are the highlights...

Kyrie looking cool. 

My amazing breakfast I made the boys.  Apple cinnamon waffles. Yum-fest.

A snuggly Kingston. 

Cool kids in colored skinny jeans.  

Brothers at breakfast warming my heart. 

The text pic I sent Dave after telling him Kyrie was choosing to nix his nap.  

Sweet Kyrie boy trying to lick the raindrops.  Have you ever seen anything cuter than this?
Also... he looks 5.   STOP GROWING CHILD!!!

Brothers playing so well together.  

Birthday dinner at Red Robin with my three dates: Kingston, Kyrie and Grandpa. 

Thanks for a great weekend Kingston and Kyrie.  And welcome home my sweet boyfriend.  I missed you more than you know!

I think 31 is going to be a good year :)

Scary Movies

I watch a lot of weird stuff on TV.

A lot of make believe stuff that I know could never happen in real life, and it's no big deal.

Harry Potter - I'm all over it.  Don't believe in witchcraft and wizardry.  But LOVE the books and movies.

Twighlight - Um, yes.  Read and watched them.  Not at all afraid of vampires.

Because they are not real.


You know what else isn't real?

Zombies.

They're not real.  I know this.  They are so ridiculous its almost silly.  They are so unbelievable with their weird noisy breathing, and outstretched arms, and unnatural slow walking.

But they scare me more than any other thing.  I watched 28 days later and lost my mind.  I couldn't handle it but HAD to watch it to the end.  It was torture.

And don't even talk to me about I am Legend.  The scene with the dog?  KILLS me!  Heartbreaking.  Scary.  Awful.

And a while back David made me watch the first episode of The Walking Dead.  A couple friends told him it was really good, and he wanted to try it out.  We were on Christmas break and needed something to watch after the little men went to bed, so I said okay.  I figured if its on TV, it can't be too scary.

But I was wrong.

The whole episode I was up out of my seat, walking to the kitchen, plugging my ears and shutting my eyes tight.  I can't stand to watch it, but I have to know everyone is okay.

So then I'm nauseous, and tense, and scared and its time for bed.

I'm hoping episodes of Gossip Girl can get my mind off the nonsense I put myself through.  

Best Friends

Kingston is an amazing sleeper.  Every mom's dream in the sleep department.  At bed time or nap time, I just lay him in his crib and cover him with a blanket.  He needs 2-7 pacis in his hand and one in his mouth, and hes good.  He smiles as I stroke his face and babbles himself to sleep.

And then he sleeps.   A good three hours at nap time and 12 hours at night.

That is - unless his bestie wakes him up.

Kyrie is a good sleeper.  Not amazing.  Not horrible.  But good.  He won't lay down when I put him in his crib.  He stands.  He throws everything out of his crib except his taggie blanket.  He's been that way since forever.  Although oddly enough the last few days he has wanted blankets in with him.  And he stays standing after I kiss him and leave the room.

And then he sleeps, but not for as long.  He wakes up much earlier than Kingston.  Around 6ish.  And his naps are only for about 2 hours, sometimes less.

But the best is when he wakes up.  I sneak in the room to try to get Kyrie out before he wakes up his brother.  The second he sees me open the door he is reaching across the room to the other crib and yelling, "BROTHER! BROTHER!"  Only hes not even 2 so it sounds more like, "BUH-BOO!  BUH-BOO!"

So I grab him and quick get out of the room.

And he cries all the way down the stairs because we had to leave his best friend behind.

As much as he wants to get out of bed, he wants his brother too.  Its so sweet and precious.

I thank God every day that these precious boys have each other.  They've experienced a lot of loss in their sweet, short lives.  But they'll always have each other.  They'll always have their brother.  Their best friend.

And I love that.

Falling

I've fallen off the face of the blog world a little bit, and most likely this post will not be the beginning of something beautiful.  I wish that it was... but you know what?

I am a mom.

Of twins.

That works full time.

And as much as I love to write on this little blog, and as often as I think of witty topic ideas, I just don't get around to doing it.

If the boys are up, I'm playing with them, or feeding them, or doing other mom stuff.  Computers and my children do not go hand in hand unless we are watching the ABCs or train videos on youtube.

So that leaves me with nap time or after bed time.  But I'm either doing schoolwork, cleaning (um, thats a lie) or lounging around doing nothing.  Tired from chasing silly boys and pretending to clean things up.

But here is a little update on my handsomes in a nutshell - to hopefully tide you over until next time.

Kyrie talks all the time.  He points out stars, balls, dogs, says buh-bye, and a million other things.  We went to great wolf lodge last weekend, and on day two he wouldn't let me put him down, and said, "buh-bye, all done" over and over again.  The boy knows what he wants.  And he wanted to go home.  I had to take him to the doctor for a nasty rash one time, and the doctor told me he thinks Kyrie is advanced.

No really, that is what he said.  And I'm his mom, so I'm bragging about it.

Kingston is such a lover.  He snuggles up all the time.  He is a boy of routine.  Before bed or naptime he rounds up about 4 or 5 pacifiers and gives one to Kyrie.  The other 4 are for him.  He likes to play outside in the winter, but I have to hold him the whole time.  He doesn't want to be put down in the snow.  And he eats everything I put in front of him.  Any time he gets put in the car seat he does the plank thing and laughs his head off.  Its.  Awesome.  He started saying "No No" but he does it so funny!  He points his finger at you and says it (hmm.. no idea where he learned that...).  The other day he pulled Kyrie down by the leg as he climbed up on a kitchen chair, put his finger in his face and said, "No! No!".  It was so hilarious.

Every day they do new amazing things.  They are so entertaining, exhausting, wonderful, and perfect.

I'm such a lucky mom.  So dumb lucky.