A Day in the Life...

It began with a snack.  Because the way to their heart is always a snack.  I cut up a muffin into bite sized pieces, put it on a plate, and grabbed a fork.  Because they love to eat from a fork.

I sit on the couch forking muffin into their sweet mouths.  First one, then the other. And although they say some words, they communicate almost exclusively with a series of grunts and points.

Kingston grunts with his mouth wide open like a little bird nonstop until the muffin is gone.  Uh, uh, uh.... fork full.  Uh, uh, uh... fork full.  Uh, uh, uh... fork full.  I look down.  Ugh!  Be a good mom and pay attention!  Mouth is OVER full of muffin.  He can hardly shut his mouth.  Crumbs spilling everywhere, smiley wildly.

Kyrie sips water from his cup.  But he has figured out how to sort of flick the cup out of his mouth and spray water EVERYWHERE with every drink.  Sip.  Splash.  Fits of laughter.  Sip.  Splash.  Fits of laughter.

Kingston grabs legos.  One blue block and one blue thing with wheels.  Crashes them on the window sill.  Kyrie gets a gleam in his eye and runs to Kingston.  Takes both items.  Kingston screams and throws himself to the ground.  He is crying like the dickens.

"Kyrie.  Kingston was playing with those.  You need to give them back."

He runs with a giggle away from me and the screaming blur of limbs by the window.  As I follow him, and almost catch up, he doubles back and offers Kingston the blue block.

It's enough to melt my heart and stop the cries of his brother.

They are both content with legos for a moment, so I sneak to the kitchen and start washing potatoes.  Twenty seconds and 2 potatoes later, I feel a tug and hear, "aap... aap... aap..."  I scoop up Kyrie and continue washing potatoes as he leans into the running water shrieking.  His laughter is contagious and I'm splashing with him.

I then remember that I have two boys, and I cannot hear the other one.  Not a good sign.

As I walk to the living room I see Kingston with his ultimate find.  My cell phone.  Down goes Kyrie after him.  Kingston's pushing buttons and running away.  Watching me.  Slip.  Fall.  Cry.

I scoop him up and cradle him, sneaking the iPhone unsuccessfully away.  Cries somehow get louder.  Phone gets handed back to him.  Giggles escape his mouth.  Writhes free and runs away again.

"Kingston, bring it to mommy."

Backs into corner and looks to the ceiling.  He thinks I can't see him.  Because he's hiding.

"Kingston, bring it to mommy."

Up walks Kyrie.  Hand holding nothing, but pinched like he's holding something.  He brings me his imaginary nothing.  Places the nothing gently in my hand and smiles.

He's already figured out how to own me.

Kingston will not be outdone.  He runs to me, phone strategically behind himself in his hand.  He leads with his lips.  Puckered.

Lays one on me.  Wet.  Messy.  Perfect.

Kyrie gets the phone and screaming ensues.  I take the phone.  Put it on counter.

Surround sound screaming.

I sit.  Scoop up one boy.  Rock a bye... another backs his sweet little booty onto my lap.  Nudges his brother away.  The one in my arms twists out, even more mad.  I try holding one on each leg, one arm around each.  "Mommy has two boys.  We can share mommy."  They're not having it.  A leg pushes a thigh.  A stiff arm in the others' face.  A grunt.  A scream.  Hitting.  Rolling.  Trying to contain them both in my arms.  Trying to contain their cries.

UGH!

I see a bare foot and snag my out.

"Tickle, tickle."  (Giggles)  "Teek, teek, teek" in response.  Fingers attack sweet chubby feet and two boys are smiling once again.

I roll on my stomach and bury my face in my arms.  ((SIGH))

Mommy needs a minute.


But mommy is dreaming if she thinks that is happening.  One boy immediately crawls on my back.  I can hear his giggles and feel him trying to stand on my back.  Disaster waiting to happen.  Before I can pick my head up, another diapered bottom is sitting on it. Yes.  On my head.  I twist out of the jaws of doom and stand.

"aap... aap...  aap..."  Kyrie.

"uuh... uuh..."  Kingston.

I scoop them both up.

Clunk.  Ah.  The blue block is back.  Banging on my head.

Awesome.

Put him down.  Crying.  Take away block.  More crying.  Scoop back up.  Sigh.  We're good.

Two arms.  Two boys in them.

And two clean, raw potatoes for dinner.

He Speaks!

My boys are talking!!

Well, one of them is.  Kyrie is talking up a storm.  He's saying bye bye, dah dee, mu mu, ball, car, E-I-E-I and my personal favorite, up.  The best part about it is he says up in the HIGHEST voice ever.  Everything else is normal Kyrie voice, but up, is "UP" starting high, with a high inflection at the end.

I think its my fault.  While trying to teach him, I said it all the time in my high, mommy, sing songy voice.  And now he mimics it perfectly.  And now that he has really mastered it, its not up, but its "UP, UP, UP, UP, UP!".  Like "MOTHER!  PICK ME UP THIS INSTANT AND I WILL NOT STOP TELLING YOU TO PICK ME UP UNTIL YOU DO!!!"

Kingston, however, does not say words.  He talks NONSTOP, but no words yet.  Not exactly anyway.  He has occasionally said a random word here or there out of context when his brother is getting great praise for his talking.  So basically I know that he is capable, but he pretty much does things when he wants to do things.  And not one minute sooner.

I just can't even wait to hear all the things on their minds.   Can. Not. Wait.  :)

Back To Work

 Last week I went back to work.

I haven't written about it because I think I am in denial.

Summer is not over.

School is not starting.

My boys will stay little forever.

The End.




But no.  I'm working.  Every weekday.  At a job that I love, leaving behind two boys that I love even more.

And it's hard.  It's really, really hard.

Walking out the door is the most difficult thing I do each day.  My boys hate to see me go.  They cry, and reach for me.  And pull on my hands.  They know I'm leaving before I say goodbye.  I scoop each one up to hug and kiss and snuggle before I go, and every time I do, they start to wave bye bye.  But when I go to put them down they get mad.  Mad, mad, mad.  Because they love their mommy and they don't want me to leave.

It's actually a really healthy sign of attachment.  That part makes me feel good.  And their grandpa does such a wonderful job with them, and they have so much fun with him.  And while I walk to the car, the boys stand in the window and wave to me.

After I get out the door, its okay.

I turn up the music on the way to work.  I'm busy, busy from the moment I walk in the door at school.  My job in incredible, and rewarding, and perfect, so I enjoy every minute of it.  And then its time to go home, and I can't wait to get home to my sweet peas.  


It's hard to work full time.

But I love my job, and I love coming home to my amazing family.  And I love those boys with every ounce of my heart.  Every. Ounce.

So it's going to be okay.

And how can it not be with these boys to come home to?

Lucky in Love

I feel so lucky to be married to David.

He gets me.  He knows me.  He makes me so happy.

And the other day he did such a sweet thing that keeps coming to my mind.  So I want to share it.

David is really loving this vintage store we have in our town.  We discovered it recently, and finds ways to get me there all the time.  David has found quite a few treasures there, and even "likes" it on Facebook.  "Liking" a vintage store on Facebook.....  so silly.

The other day he took me there and spoiled me.  He had seen this giraffe scarf on their Facebook page and he wanted me to have it.   What?  He's so sweet.  But he's also very specific about how we spend money.  (THANK goodness - because I am not so specific...)

So I was surprised when he was buying me this beautiful scarf, just for fun.  It made me feel so spoiled!  He was just so sweet about it too.

But you know what?  There was one more thing he bought me that brings me to tears even writing this.



David very quietly hands me a small gold necklace.  It's petite.  It's beautiful.  It's "me".

And it has an anchor on it.

"I thought you might like this."

"David, its just like my dad's!"

"I know."

You see, David never got to meet my father.  He and I started a friendship when my father was near the end of his battle with cancer.


He's heard countless stories about my dad.  Listens to me repeat them over and over and doesn't stop me.  He eats dad's birthday peach pie with me every year.  Goes to the lake with me on Father's day.

Holds me while I cry out of nowhere when a memory comes upon me too quick.  Or when I dream about him and wake up remembering he's gone.

My dad left me this necklace.   It was his. You see, my dad LOVED his boat and the lake.  All things nautical really, except sail boats.  (He was not so much a slow sailing kind of guy - but power and speed. You know...man stuff.)  The necklace was a gold anchor with an eagle on it.  On a gold chain.  The chain is big, and the charm (can I call it that?  Medallion maybe?) is big.

Because it was for a guy.

I don't wear it.  Its a keepsake, and I treasure it because it was his.  I would like to wear it, but its not really "me".  It's certainly "my dad", and that is what I love about it.  But its not me.



I know that this doesn't seem like a big deal.  But it is.

It SO is.

We've never really talked about the necklace.  He knew I had it, and he'd seen it plenty of times.  I've never told him that I wish it was something I could wear without looking like I was wearing a "gold chain" or was a fifty year old man.

But it means the world to me that he knew I would love this.

Its beautiful.
Its a sweet tribute to my father.
And I adore it.

Just Wait till You Know Them...

Okay.

So yesterday was sort of a downer.

Sorry.  Some days are just like that.

But today I want to share a letter.  And hopefully its not such a downer.  It's not meant to be.  Its meant to be filled with joy.  Because that is what these boys do.  They fill me with joy.  And if I could, I would share that with my dad.

So here it is...

------------------------------------------------------


Dear Dad,

You have the most amazing grandsons.  I know that you know this.  I know that you watch over them from Heaven.  But let me tell you about them.

This is Kingston.

He LOVES to laugh.  He is so independent.  He plays all day long and runs everywhere he goes.  He likes to climb things. He stands on all his toys, and he loves to push buttons.  I had to tape cardboard over the buttons on the DVR because he kept fast forwarding the TV.

He smiles at everyone.  Loves to flirt with the ladies, and shows off when people are over.  But when he is mad?  He throws himself down on the floor and cries.  He rolls and tantrums.  No tears, just a brilliant display of unhappiness.

But its rare.  Most of the time he is just a bucket of smiles!

He has wild hair that can only sometimes be tamed.  David thinks its time to cut it, mostly because it isn't growing in super even.  I agree, but can't bring myself to set up an appointment.  So it just keeps getting wilder, and I keep loving it a little more.

And this is Kyrie.

This is pretty much how he looks after ever meal.  Little specks of food on his face, usually one chunk of food in his hair, and food in his mouth that he is "saving".

His smile lights up the room, and he has the tightest most beautiful curls.  I'm nervous I'll never ever be able to cut them.

He has tons of teeth, and his molars are all coming in at once.  He's had a low fever for the past couple days and has been really unhappy because of the teething.  Poor little guy.

Kyrie is my little lovey.  He is such a mama's boy right now and loves to snuggle and cuddle with me.

                   

He is also "all boy".  He is a biter, and a hitter.  He laughs at me when I tell him no.  And he is always chasing his brother, pulling on the back of his shirt, and tackling him.  Needless to say, this leads to Kingston throwing himself on the ground because he's sick of his brother messing with him.

And Kyrie LOVES to dance.  If he hears any kind of music, he bouncing on his legs, stomping his feet, and flapping his arms.  All with pride.  It's so awesome.

Kyrie has such a big personality.  He loves hard, plays rough, is stubborn, and when he wants to be picked up he'll let you know.  When my arms are hurting and I have one million things I have to do and I go to put him down, he pulls his legs up to his body, wrinkles his face into a grimace, and goes limp so I can't put him down.  Then when I scoop him back up, his face lights up and he grins with at "I got what I wanted" look.  It's priceless.  He has me wrapped around his finger.

They are best friends.  They play so good together.  The talk to each other.  They make each other laugh.  When one boy is playing with something, the other wants to too.  They steal toys from each other and chase each other.  They are handsome and silly and wonderful.

They are your grandsons.

They will learn all about you.  They will love you without ever knowing you.

And when we go to the beach on Father's Day, or your birthday, or the anniversary of your death, it will be to celebrate your life, and the amazing man that you were. They will know your story.  And they will know that the one place I feel closest to you is at Lake Michigan.

And one day they'll grow up to be men.  And you know what, dad?  I hope they'll be a lot like you.

August 14

Today my heart hurts.    Like I can feel every beat, and there is this pain in my chest that won't go away.

I know why.  I always feel a little yuck on August 14.

Because this is the day cancer took my dad away seven years ago.

And I didn't see it coming, but this year is just harder.  I mean, I should have seen it coming, but I didn't.  Because his birthday (5 days ago) was okay.  I made a peach pie, and celebrated his birthday with my brothers and their families.  And it was bittersweet, but good to be with family.  Liz made Cody (and baby Lily) this beautiful book about my dad, and it was shared.  The cousins played.  It was nice.

But today is not nice.

It just plain sucks.

I look at my precious boys, and I'm just so mad.  I'm mad that my dad never got to meet them.  And I'm mad that they are missing out on knowing their grandpa.  I'm mad that so many people can cure their cancer, and my dad's took his life.  I know that's not fair.  It's great some cancer is curable.  But my dad's wasn't, so I'm mad anyway.  I'm mad there wasn't more time.  I'm mad he never knew I wanted to adopt.  He never knew David.  I'm just so mad today.

Cancer is just not fair.  And it hurts.  So, so much.


I want him to pick up my boys.  And love them.  And tell me how they have his hair, and that they're going to be trouble one day because they are his grandsons, and he was trouble.  I know he would love them.  I know he would spoil them.  And tickle them.  And give them weird nicknames.

Today I'm mad to be missing all that.  For my boys to be missing all of that.  For my dad to be missing all that.

I'm 30 years old.  I'm a grown up.  I get that.  But you know what?  Today I just want my daddy.

Our Referral-versary

One year ago today we saw the faces of the two most beautiful boys in the world.

In fact, they were halfway across the world.  Three months old, and just 8ish pounds each.

They hardly had any hair, and Welde (Kyrie) had pink eye.  They were probably scared out of their minds at a new place and they had no idea we even existed.

And we were in love.

This was our referral picture.  The first picture we saw of our little sweeties.
Weldemichael and Paulos  

Welde (Kyrie) protecting his brother.  Notice the poor little guy's pink eye :(
And don't worry.  Those skinny little legs are a thing of the past.

The diapers are too big for these teeny tiny peanuts!!  But aren't they so cute holding hands?
(Kyrie on left, Kingston on right.)

We laid in bed every night giggling and talking about how our life would change (and we had NO idea.   Seriously. No idea.)

We talked about our boys.  OUR boys. (EEEE!) About our Paulos and Welde.  Our perfect little baldy bundles.  We guessed about their personalities.  Dreamed about their smiles.

I can't even begin to tell you how amazing this time was in our lives.  And it was nothing...nothing compared to our lives now.

Every day is a ridiculous blessing.  I thank God a hundred times a day for these boys.  They are perfect.  Created in God's image.  Beautiful in every way.  And worth every second of the wait.  Every. Single. Second.

The journey was hard, and long, and discouraging at times.  And none of that matters one single little bit.  I'd do it all over again in a nanosecond for these boys.

Lets be real.  I'd do ANYTHING for these boys.

Anything.

And now - I'm thanking God that one year ago today, he showed me the little blessings that are my sons.  My loves.  My life.

The serious pose...

Sorry about the blur...  but seriously?  The ties?

Kyrie is giving his "blue steel" look here.

Laughter.  Love it. 

Happy Referral Day, my loves.

So much has changed in the last year.  And I can't wait to see what God has in store for the next year of our beautiful lives.

My Babies Own Me

He hangs onto my legs, skirt, pants any time I'm in the kitchen.  Follows my every move.  Looks up with his hands raised and goes, "uh, uh, uh...."  He wants me to pick him up.  So I do, and I stir with one hand and put away with one hand and wipe down with one hand.  Then I need two hands so I go to put him down, but his legs hike up and he twists his face to a pout and back in my arms he is.  Dinner can wait.  Its that moment I know he owns me.

My Kyrie boy

He runs full speed ahead arms out.  He collapses into my arms where I'm sitting on the floor in a fit of giggles, and looks up at me with his puckered lips and tongue sticking out.  He wants a kiss.  He gets one.  Then another, and another and another.  He snuggles right into my neck and sighs.  I'm a goner.  This child owns me too.

My baby boy Kingston

My boys totally own me.  All the late nights, blow out diapers, inconsolable crying?

Forgotten.

Or at least insignificant.  Those things don't matter.

All that matters is boys that want to be held and snuggled and that I get to be the person to do it.

They're amazing.  The most amazing little people I know.  And I get to help mold them. And guide them.  And teach them.

I love them so, so much.  And I'm so sorry, but I just can't think of any topics to write about lately besides how much I love them and how awesome they are.  Its ridiculous how giddy with happiness they make me.

And I say it all the time.  And its so cliche.  But I am the luckiest person in the world because I get to be their mommy.

Luckiest.  Ever. 

He might be a Rapper one day

Kingston likes rap.

Seriously.  He loves it.

David's school makes a music video every year with the kids singing.  Its pretty cool, and always has an awesome message.  Our boys LOVE to watch them.   And this year there is a little boy who raps in the middle.  Every time that boy comes on the screen, Kingston lights up with a big smile.  He even gets a little shy and turns his head away, smiling.  Its so sweet!

And now our boys also have a favorite song.  I mean, sort of.  It doesn't have quite the same message, but don't judge :)  We just play it a lot on the TV because we have the video "on demand".  And Kingston likes the rap, and Kyrie claps and swings his arms in a "dancey" sort of way.

Aynway...

I took video of it because I think its cute.  Watch Kingston's face when the rap part comes on.  He loves it.  At then Kyrie rocks out for a sec.

So cute, right?

And you know what?  If Kingston is a rapper one day, then he can support my outrageous car preferences :)  Cadillac Escalade here I come!!  (Okay - that is not actually what I like.  Just seemed sort of rapper like.)

Happy Monday!

Mini Vans

I don't want a mini van.

I just really really don't.

And I'm not knocking all you amazing mini van driving moms.  I know you are amazing, and I know your mini van helps you in your awesomeness.

They are spectacular.  The automatic doors.  The bucket seats you can easily maneuver around.  The seating space for multiple children and friends.  The delightful DVD screens that flip down for child amusement and entertainment.  The storage in the back.  The rearview camera and GPS system and all the other bells and whistles.

I haven't met a mini van owner who doesn't swear by its glory.  Every mini van driving mom I know has told me that once I'm driving it, I'll be convinced.

But you know what?  I've driven a mini van.

And its just okay to me.

Just. Okay.

But what's more than that?  Deep down in my heart of hearts I just despise them.   They rank up there with mom jeans and pantyhose.  Like the moment I step into mini van ownership I will no longer be my hip 20-something self.   And it doesn't matter that I'm 30.   And also not hip.

Mini vans are just not my thing.

Occasionally David will start a conversation with, "Now I know you don't want a mini van.  And I'm not trying to talk you into one.  But..."

And that is when I know that he is trying to talk me into one.

The thing is we're not really even car shopping right now. But we have twin boys.  So if we are blessed with anymore children one day, we are going to need a different mode of transportation.

And unfortunately, every non mini van third row seating option that I love?  Not so much in our price range.   Apparently when it comes to cars I have the taste of a six figure rapper rollin' on some sweet rims.

Or something.

I just can't find the perfect (affordable) option.  Hopefully if and when baby number 3 enters our lives we have this thing figured out.  And hopefully that doesn't mean mini van.

What do you drive?  And do you love it?

A Few of My Favorite Things

Today I am feeling very blessed.

So. Very. Blessed.

I got to spend some time at the park with my sweet family of four, and my extended family on my dad's side.

Because today is my grandfather's birthday.  And although he is not here to celebrate with us, it is a life we celebrate as often as we can.

My aunt is a school social worker, and she said to me today, "Don't you just LOVE your summer off?"

And she didn't mean because we work at schools, and we don't have to work for the next couple months.  Or that we get to be in the sun all day long with no alarm clock in the morning, and no work to do after the kids go to bed, and time to read books and laugh and love.

That is all good stuff.

But she meant because I get to be with my boys ALL. DAY. LONG.

And its amazing.  I treasure and value these boys so very much each and every day.  But getting to be with them all summer…  Well…

This is the best time of my life.

These are the days I will look back on and say, "where did the time go?" and "remember when the boys just learned to walk and were EVERYWHERE?" and "it seems like only yesterday…"

Ky, loungin' in the laundry

 I just can't believe this is my life.  I am so blessed.

Let me tell you about some of the joy in my life :)

My boys wake up so very happy.  But the best part is the moment I walk through their bedroom door.  I stand outside their room for a minute and listen to them play and babble across the room to each other.  Then I sneak in.  The second they see me they start to squeal and clap and laugh and reach for me.  The smile on their faces is worth a million dollars and melts this mama's heart.  Its such a great way to start my day.

Kingston, laughing his sweet face off

Of course I hate that they cry when they wake up from a nap, but once I go in and scoop them up, they just want to cuddle.  Like forever.  Kyrie will sometimes fall back asleep for a little while.  Kingston will look at me for a kiss and then snuggle back on my shoulder.  They just want to be held and loved on.  And I know this won't last forever, so I absolutely treasure it.

Kingston having snuggle time with Daddy

Kyrie waking up by Mommy

Kyrie, too tired to move

Another favorite? We have a mini pool.  Its very mini, but the boys love it.  I love it too because it heats up fast.  They can get themselves in and out of it, and love to play with the little cups.  This silly little pool brings them so much happiness.  They squeal and laugh and splash and have the time of their lives in that pool, and so do I :)

Splashing :)

Chillin' out

Dave always wished for naughty children.  He's weird like that.  But so far he's gotten his wish in all the adorable little ways.  If the boys find something they KNOW I don't let them play with - like my phone - they pick it up and wait for me to see them.  They hold it in the air, and once I see them, they laugh hysterically and run away.  If they find something tiny that I for sure don't want in their mouth, they DO NOT put it in their mouth until they are sure I am looking. Its a friendly little service they throw in for me.  They literally hold it near their mouth with a smile on their face until I see them.  THEN it goes in.  And of course, any time I say NO in my I mean it, I'm your mom and I am so very serious voice, they just laugh at me.  Like a deep belly laugh.

Hello there!  

There are so many more things.  Kyrie will smash food in his hand that he doesn't want.  He'll throw it and scream.  Its very funny.  He'll even "yell" at me when I put something on his tray he doesn't want to eat.  They recently started really fighting over toys.  Its ridiculous.  Kyrie will cry if he thinks Kingston is going to take his toy.  Kyrie is also in a "mommy" stage.  He wants to be held my me All. The. Time.  And if I try to put him down he does the whole my body is limp and I will pull my legs up to my booty and lean my head way back so there is absolutely no way you can put me down and still be a good mother thing.  He's such a weirdo.  And I love to hold him, so it works out.

Oh hi.  Want to play?

Kingston discovered there is water in the toilet.  If I don't check the bathroom right away (they are in there with me while I get ready for the day) his hands are splashing around in no time.

And they play peek-a-boo with the long hanging curtains.  Made this little trick up all by themselves.  Kyrie wraps himself up, then peeks out at Kingston, and they both laugh hysterically.  Its. Awesome.  I'll see if I can catch them on video for you fine people.

Kyrie kisses me by grabbing both sides of my face, licking everything between my nose and chin.  If you saw it you would think it was the drooliest, wettest kiss ever.  And you would think it was gross.  But I'm his mommy and I think its absolutely sweet.  Kingston comes at me for a kiss with his tongue out.  Its an open mouthed lick.  Honestly, I don't know where they learn that because I always ask for a kiss with a pucker.  (Seriously people - Dave and I do NOT kiss by coming at each other or our children with our tongue out!)

This is getting a little long, and I'll NEVER run out of cute things to share.  So I'll stop here.

Motherhood is incredible.  But even more incredible?

My kids.

My Sleep Champions

Those of you that talk to me on a regular basis know that my boys have never really been masters of sleep.

When they first came home, they woke up every 2 hours for a bottle.  And if they weren't on the same 2 hour schedule - which was always - we were up every hour.  And then it took 30 minutes to get them back to sleep, only to be woken up by the other child who was ready for their bottle.

It was a NIGHTMARE.

Seriously.

I cried a lot.  Mostly because I was SO SO tired and all I wanted in the whole wide world was a 3 hour block of uninterrupted sleep.

But then they stopped needing the bottle to get back to sleep.  You might think this meant they woke up less, but it didn't.  Not at first anyway.  They just needed to be rocked or bounced in the bouncy seat back to sleep.  So David and I took turns sleeping on a twin mattress on the floor of their room.  Because if you could catch them quickly and start bouncing/rocking, they wouldn't wake all the way up.  And they'd get back to sleep quicker.

Well this life slowly transitioned, and they were only waking up once or twice in the night.  Sometimes one of them would sleep through the night, but their brother was sure to wake up for a 2 hour stint around 1:30am, just so we didn't get used to too much sleep.  They never, EVER, slept through the whole night on the same night.

Pretty sure they planned it out that way, just so we wouldn't miss them through the night time hours.

At this point David and I were back in our own room.  Although, to be completely honest, David would sometimes sleep on the floor in our closet with the bathroom fan on.  Because he was working, and I had the "night shift" and then he wouldn't be woken up by which ever child wanted to be up for the day at 3:00am.

As their nighttime wakings slimmed to one time per night, their morning wake time stuck to 4:30 or 5:00.  I sort of thought this would just be their style.  Early morning risers.  Not really my thing, but what are you gonna do?

Then I started back teaching, and somehow, miraculously, the boys slowly started sleeping in until 6:00am.  Which was okay, because I would have had to get up just shortly after that for work anyway.  And sometimes, like once or twice a week, they would BOTH sleep through the night.

Those nights were so glorious.

But most of the time, somebody still would wake up.  And it was fine, and doable, and SUCH an improvement from the time they first came home that I truly felt like I had this mom thing down.

----------------

And now here we are in the summer months.  I am home every day (because - hooray! - I'm a teacher and have summers off).  Out of nowhere the boys started sleeping through the night.  Like almost every single night.

What?

And to top that off, they are EVER so slowly... sleeping in!!

Kyrie, seen here NOT sleeping. 

I haven't gotten out of bed before 7:00am all week, and Sunday - on David's "day", of course - they slept until 7:50.

Huh?!

I don't know if its because its summer time, and they are busy playing hard in the fresh air, or if its because I'm home every day and they just sleep better with mommy home all day.

Kingston - also not currently sleeping :)

I just hope it never ever changes.  Because while I was functioning quite well on little to no sleep at night, I am an absolute ROCKSTAR with a full night's sleep AND sleeping in til 7:00.


You go, babies.  You GET your sleep on :)

A Letter

 A while back my sister in law, Katie, asked me to "guest post" on her blog, Sluiter Nation.  Well, I was super nervous about it, but took the plunge.  She is a SERIOUS blogger, people.  With like a million followers.  So it was quite an honor.


So anyway, after much thought, I wanted to post it here too because I sort of want it all in one place, you know?  So one day I can read it all to the boys while they listen in wonder (boredom) to mommie's thoughts.  :)  


So here it is...


------------------------

My Sweet Babies,

I can’t even begin to tell you how much my life has changed since you entered it.  Everything I’ve known for the past 30 years has been turned upside down.  

You made me a mommy.  

You taught me how to live on 2 hours of sleep or less a night.  

And still function.  

You showed me that I can love in a way I never knew about.  

You helped me learn 100 tricks to getting food in your belly without it being spit right back out at me, followed by your giggles.  

You have changed my life so very much.  And I know this is only the beginning.  

But then I think about your sweet little lives.  In the seven months of your lives before you knew me and daddy, you have experienced so much.  

You had to lose your birth family in order to join ours.  Which is something that even though you were infants, I know you felt.  I know you grieve.  

You then lived in an orphanage.  And were cared for by a new set of people.   

Only to be moved to another place.  Where you met your special mothers.  Woman who became special to you.  That you grew to trust.  Maybe even love and bonded with.  You spent the majority of your life there before meeting us.  And I think you probably thought you were finally home.  

But you weren’t.  

And then what had to be the hardest transition of your life happened.  

You met your mommy and daddy.  

And we swept you away from everything you knew and loved.  We took you from your beautiful country.  From the sweet brown faces you were familiar with.  From your friends.  From all the smells, sights and sounds you were used to.  

And into Michigan.

I know it was hard, my darlings.  

I know you were unsure of us.  Of our unsteady hands.  Of mommy’s tears for no reason.  There were lots of times I cried right along with you.  Sometimes out of happiness.  Other times because I didn’t know what to do for you.

You were unsure of the changing formula, and the doctors visits.  The antibiotics.  The tummy aches. The sleepless nights.

Slowly and surely, we found our rhythm.  You found comfort in my arms.  And slowly (OH SO SLOWLY) you started to sleep better.  You beat out your tummy troubles, and we finally got rid of that nasty parasite.  

And every day you learn more.  You laugh and play.  You are both crawling EVERYWHERE.  And fast.  And Kingston, you’re walking more every day! You get into everything you shouldn’t get into.  And you look me straight in the eye before you do it, you silly boy.   You capture a room with your adorable expressions.  Kyrie, you laugh at everything.  Especially when I tell you no.  You shoot your hands straight up in the air to show me how big you are, and with SUCH confidence.  And the stories you tell me.  I cannot WAIT until I understand your babbles.  Because I already know you are hilarious.  

But my loves, I often wonder about your hearts.  Do you know I will love you forever and ever?  Do you know that no stranger will ever come and take you away again?  I worry that you do not know.  

Because you still have not lived with us for longer than you’ve lived without us.  

And at one point, we were the strangers that took you away from what you knew.

And sometimes at night, you cannot be soothed unless you are in my arms.  And if I even think about putting you down once you are asleep, you wake up immediately and cling to me.  

Oh, how on these nights I never want to let you go.

I promise I’ll never let you go.

I want you to know we are your forever family.  You are home.  We love you with every ounce of our hearts, and a little bit more.  

I will always kiss your tears away.  I will always cuddle you.  I will always let you snuggle up next to me at night when you cannot sleep without me.  I will protect you, no matter what.

I’m your mommy.  Now, and always, darlings.  I’m your forever mommy.