Baptism

My boys were baptized the other day.

Like well over a month ago, but I haven't blogged about it yet, so lets pretend it was just recently for the sake of writing…

When we brought our boys home, we obviously knew we wanted them baptized.  It wasn't really something that needed discussing.  We will raise our boys to know the love of God, and teach them to live life in a way that is honorable to God.  As best as we can, with the support of our family and friends of course.

But church is a rather overwhelming place for "new to the U.S." twin boys who are adjusting to their new family.  During our serious cocooning time we weren't really leaving the house at all with the boys, let alone to go to a VERY busy, loud, and overstimulating church service.  Where everyone would want to see the boys, and the boys would want to be at home in their 'safe place'.  So we stayed home.

Oh, and also we do not have a home church.

Minor detail.

We've pretty much been on the hunt since we got married (um… 3 years ago).  And we haven't found a place yet that really meets all our needs.  We've found some really great churches that we like to attend, but we haven't found the one that feels like home to us.

We're a strange mix.  I was raised Christian Reformed, which is a very "Zeelandy" thing to be.  Or maybe just West Michigan in general.  David was raised Catholic.  Even went to a very lovely Catholic school growing up.  What we are looking for is neither Reformed nor Catholic.  More non-denominational, maybe.  With some traditional feel, but a semi liberal attitude.  Modern music, but not something that has to feel like a concert.  That has outreach programs for widows/orphans/people in our community and across the world in need, but also is small enough that we don't feel lost in the crowd.

So you know…  just your ordinary ole' church :)

So where do we baptize our boys?  And when?

It was one of those things we sort of just "tabled" for awhile.

And then one day just decided.


We opted for the church I grew up in, because its where we got married.  Also, the pastor there did our pre-marital counseling, so he knows us, and helped us out with some adoption paperwork we needed from a church leader.

And then we found out he was retiring.  Okay.  So lets do this people.  Like quick before he is not there anymore and we have to have a stranger do it!

(I mean really… its OUR promise to the boys to raise them in the church.  Not the pastors.  So it doesn't matter.)  But whatever.  It did matter.

And one of the only dates that worked was already chosen for another family baptizing their child.  (This is a very small church, where you get your OWN Sunday for baptizing.  Not a couple days a year where everyone does it.  - And I'm not knocking churches that do that.  Just explaining that some families may not want to share their day.)

Oh.  And that other family was my brother's family.  Baptizing my beautiful nephew, Charlie.  On a day that his Mom had chosen specifically because it was near her father's (Charlie's middle namesake's) birthday.  Because her first son was baptized on the birthday of my father and great grandfather, whom he is named after.

Oh.  And she planned it like the MOMENT she knew her due date.  Probably.  Because that is how she rolls.  All organized and such.

And by some miracle, she was willing to share the special day with our boys!  She said it would be special for Charlie to be baptized the same day as his cousins. :)  YAY!  And it was special.  It was awesome.  It was perfect.

Thank you Katie, Cort, Eddie and Charlie for sharing your day with us!  It was so special for Kingston and Kyrie to be able to enjoy this celebration with you!

Here are some pictures…

Sorry about the blur...

Cousin Charlie

Sweet boy :)

Blur again. But I don't care :)

Flirting with Auntie Liz and Uncle Cody's niece behind us

Mama does double time

My family that I adore.

And here we are again.

Daddy hold two boys

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day.

And it is one of the most honorable days I know.

Being a mom is incredible.  Worth every second of the wait.  These two boys rock my world like no others could do.  And I just want to cry every time I think about how lucky I am.  I know every mom thinks this, but HONESTLY.  My boys are the most amazing little people ever.

Today I find myself thinking about last Mother's Day.  My boys were born already, and I didn't know it.  I'd hoped it, and thought about it, but I didn't know it. And I didn't know they were twins.  Or boys.

Or perfect.

And on that Mother's Day another mother was holding those boys.

Their first mother.

Their biological mother.

And although they do not have Mother's Day in Ethiopia, I know she felt the same way I do.  That they are the most amazing miracles.  That they are precious.  And beautiful.  And as their mother, she would love them forever.  And every moment of every day, she would do everything she could do to make sure they were okay.



And my heart breaks for her.  Because while she got to bring them into this world, look into their eyes for the first time, and hear their sweet newborn baby coos, she doesn't get to see what I get to see every day.

She doesn't get to see them walk.  Or hear their first word.  Or teach them to ride a bike one day.

I get to do those things.  Because I'm their mommy too.  And while I'm so thankful that I get to do those things, and I get to love these boys every day of my life, my heart hurts for her.  And I think about her.  Especially today.  And I wish I could hug her and let her know that she'll always hold a special place in our family. 

Because she and I share something so special.  So sacred.  So amazing.

Love for these two boys.

Kingston Paulos and Kyrie Weldemichael.  My loves.  My heart.  My everything.  And half a world away, I know I'm not the only one who feels that way.

Why I'm such a Crazy Mom

Well, lets be honest about something right off the bat.  I'm a little bit crazy in every aspect of my life.

Exhibit A: The Dishwasher.
I love that David takes care of his dishes and loads the dishwasher, but I almost always take the dishes out and redo it… the "right way".   You don't have to tell me how ridiculous this is.

Exhibit B: The Car Seat.
If you are not me, and you strap my boys into the car seat, I'll double check it.  Not because I don't trust you, but because I'm a little bit crazy and just need to make sure.  Most of the time I even find a way that David did it wrong.  "This needs to be tighter here.  You didn't put the bar up so he can see his toys.  Make sure this is on his chest.  This is twisted."

Exhibit C: Holding my Children.
I won't let you.

Actually, I'm serious about this one, and people usually think I'm not.  I've been known to snatch my child out of the hands of an unsuspecting friend who innocently picked up one of my boys to say hello.  And when people say, "Can I hold him?" clearly expecting me to hand a baby over, I say, "No, sorry."

And even people who understand (or act like they understand) our cocooning process make comments like, "Really?  Still?  For how long?" or "I think they know by now."


So I'd like to share a little insight as to why I am the way I am.  And why I will protect my boys and their needs no matter how uncomfortable it makes me or you.

In their short year of life, my boys have lived in four different places, two different countries, and had MULTIPLE care givers.  I don't know too much about the first months of their lives, but I know they spent seven months with others, and four of those months were in two different orphanages before coming home with us.  They were held by many different woman who cared for them, and were happy with all of them.  They didn't fuss when somebody new held them.  Even David and I for the first time.  They didn't have stranger anxiety because a new person picking them up was the story of their lives.

Friends, this is not a healthy life for an infant.  Babies need families.  They need to know there will always be somebody (mom and dad) there to provide for them.  It gives them a sense of security and a bond with their family.  Thank goodness there are orphanages for children who are in need of a home.  But it is not ideal.  Not at all.  And it doesn't promote healthy family attachment.

When we first came home, we spent the first three months in the house with little journeys out and few guests.  Just close friends and family.  And David and I were the only ones to hold, feed, change and provide basic needs for our boys.

We feel so lucky to have these boys as our own.  We have come a long way in the last few months and they clearly know who mom and dad are.  It melts my heart when one of my boys reaches his arms out to me with a little squeal.

Seriously.  It's the best thing ever.

But that doesn't mean we close the door to cocooning.  Attachment is a process.  And it's a long one.   It's a road we'll be walking as a family the rest of our lives.

Friends and family, I know that this may hurt you.  But I don't want my child to be completely comfortable in your arms.  I want them to find that comfort in MY arms.  And David's.  And for most biological children, this comes natural.  With adoption, children need to learn that mom and dad are the ones who comfort.  It's not just anyone (like it had been in their past).


We're at the point now where our family members are holding the boys.  And while I think it is healthy, I still struggle with it a bit.  The attachment and bonding process has been beaten into our heads so strongly, and it is such an important process.  I'm constantly watching their every move for anxiety, or discomfort so I can swoop in and take them back.  And at the same time, trying to fight that urge to do so.

So bear with me. 

You might not get to hold my boys when you think it is the appropriate time.  Or you might think I'm too over bearing.  But if I think it is what is best for my boys, I'm going to do it.  And I really, really appreciate your support.

And if you think I'm a little crazytown (which you very well might), then strap yourself in, because I'm only in the beginning of my parenting journey.  And chances are, there is a whole lot more crazy coming down the line. 

Happy Birthday Babies!

My boys are 1.

I have a TON of emotions about that - but that is not what this post is about.

Its about their party :)  Well, actually I'm not going to write that much because I'm about to overload your computer screen with one million photos.  But I'll write in the captions :)

It was a Dr. Seuss theme - as you will see.  And it was so fun.  And my kids are so cute and wonderful and perfect and now ONE!  Ugh.

Ah children….  they grow up so fast….

Don't mock my mini cakes.  I'm hoping each year they'll be cooler/better.

Yep.  YUM.

Oh, who made the cute food tags?  That would be ME.

Dessert table :)

Guess how many candies...

The cutesy candy sign I made up :)

Favors.  I totally copied these.

Mmmm… a pinterest punch...

Me and one of the birthday boys!

They do love the window.  Oh, and all their presents were out there too.

You can only see one boy, but there is another behind that big box...

They pretty much loved all the new toys ;)

Um... lets talk about this hat.

My boys are so cool.

"I tip my hat to you, fine lady..."

He knows he's cute.

Sweaters my Grandma MADE.  I'm in love.

These ponies are the new baby crack for Kingston.  Seriously.  I'll write about it one day.

Its sings.  So Awesome.

Oh.  And they're driving now.  Clear the roads!

Cruising for chicks...

Checking his blind spot.

Rollin' down the strip...

Cake time. I might have stripped them down to their diapers.  What?

Singing...

I also might have asked if I should let them blow out the candles.  Um.  Really mom?  Think that is a good idea?

Making him try the gluten free/dairy free cake that he did not have any interest in.  I wonder why?

Kind of over it.

Don't be tricked.  Mommy demolished that cake.  Not Kyrie.

Mom.. Really?  You're taking a picture right now?

Family photos don't always work out with twin 1 year olds.  But I like the egg/ball floating in mid air...

David, Kingston, Kyrie and I feel so blessed by our friends and family.  Thanks for celebrating with us and making their first birthday so special :)