What's in a Name?

During his best man speech at our wedding, my brother joked about (among many things) my undying love for Duke Basketball, and how he predicted our first child would be named "Cameron Indoor Stefanich," after the famous building the Blue Devils play in.

Recently, a question that we have been hearing a lot is if we have any names picked out for our child or children (yes, we are hoping to adopt a sibling group consisting of two children between the ages 0-4). This has been a hard question for us to answer because not only do we not know the gender of our children, we also do not know their ages.

You might ask yourself "why does this matter?" It matters because if we adopt a 1 year old and a 3 year old, the 3 year old will already have and be quite attached to their birth name. Changing the name of one or both of our children could add to the losses our child will already feel.

We have read research about changing the name adopted children. There are reasons for and against it. For example, there is research that states changing a child's birth name, especially a child who recognizes their name could have a negative effect on the child. Children may feel like their parent's changed their birth name because it was not good enough for their forever family. A child who thinks this might then think they are not good enough for their forever family.

On the other hand we have read research that states the positive reasons for changing a child's birth name. One reason we continue to read about is that an adopted child needs to feel like they fit in with their forever family, new community and life. If their birth name stands out too much they may not feel like they belong.

Some parents choose to keep their child's birth name. While others choose to use their child's birth name as a middle name. Finally, we have met parents who have created a more "Americanized" hybrid of their child's birth name. There seems to be no right or easy answer.

So to answer the question that started this post, "yes" MacKenzie and I have talked about names for our children. We have fallen in love with some of these names, but we also know our children might already have a name that they love. So when thinking about names we have decided to do what we have often done throughout this process, continue to gather information and try our best to "go with the flow."

Either way it is is safe to say "Michael Jordan Stefanich" and Lebron James Stefanich" are no longer in the running.

- dave